I Lack Confidence
by bookwormfanatic
Summary: I'm such an embarrassment. Such an embarrassment. Did I have to trip over him like a complete moron? On the plus side, at least he noticed me. Now that he's noticed me all I got to do is speak. Shame that my best friend wants him, too.
1. Chapter 1

I'm such an embarrassment. Such an embarrassment. Did I have to trip over him like a complete moron? On the plus side, at least he noticed me. Now that he's noticed me all I got to do is speak. Shame that my best friend wants him, too. And, she definitely knows how to speak.

* * *

I'd never had many friends. Mia Call was my only friend. We'd been friends since birth and I trusted her with my life. I don't know if it was because I had no one else and I was just hoping she really was my friend, but I trusted her.

We did the usual best friend stuff, the gossiping, the sleepovers, shopping. Her being the more popular one helped me experience parties and so on. Sometimes I resented her for her good looks, her great fashion sense, her charming nature. She always attracted guys that I liked. I liked Oscar Brune, and therefore she liked him and dated him. I liked Paul Walker (I know he's volatile, but so what?), and then she dated him. But, she doesn't seem to like Jared Thail, so I'm fine, right. Because if she ever ends up wanting him, I'm screwed.

But, I knew she didn't date these other guys because she knew I liked them. I never told her, she couldn't have known. Plus, she was my best friend, she would never try to purposefully hurt me.

But, I told her about Jared because I thought he was the real deal.

As I sat across from her while she flirted with Jared, I lost my confidence, my trust, my love for her. She knew that I really liked Jared, yet she was flirting with him right in front of my face.

Jared kept glancing at me as Mia droned on, and I let myself hope that he had no interest in her whatsoever. But, who would choose a plain girl like me, over a bubbly, pretty brunette? I'm boring, she's interesting. I'm ugly, and she's beautiful.

Man, it sucks having a hot best friend. It also sucks being a complete pushover.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for your review 'OMG no way911'. I appreciate your support. Don't worry, I have a chapter coming up for my other story and I should be able to update soon. Maybe be tommorow.**

Walking to my locker usually entails walking forward step after step. I don't usually trip or fall. I can't afford to fall since my popularity is worth almost nothing already.

But, seriously, I had to trip over Jared Thail, didn't I? I mean, fine embarrasing myself in front of the whole student body, but Jared Thail? Mr Hot Bod, Mr gentlemen, friendly, caring and sexy all in one? No way.

So, anyway, I was minding my own business walking down the corridor on my way to my locker. I hadn't noticed him standing next to my locker talking to my locker buddy, Paul, because I was busy trying to juggle those heavy books that I needed for English Literature.

So, because I was preoccupied with not dropping the damn books, I got startled at Jared's deep voice telling me to watch out and consequently tripped over him and fell flat on my face.

I lay face down on the floor, mortified, as my dream man struggled to help me up because I was unwilling to move. The corridor was silent and I was glad to know no one found my moment of extreme embarrassment funny.

Until that familiar screech off laughter. Mia.

She set off the rest of the pupils who wanted to laugh but needed a signal, and the girl's best friend laughing was certainly a good enough signal.

I groaned then and slowly stood up, accidentally ignoring Jared's help. He sighed, but turned back to Paul who'd given me a look as if to say, 'you fucking idiot', while I shoved the books in my locker.

Mia giggled and decided to relay one of the worst moments in my life again. As if I'd never been the one to fall, as if I needed anymore reminding.

"Hey, are you ok?" A deep voice from my right said. I continued to look at Mia, who's eyes widened.

"Hey, hello." The voice said again, amusement in his voice. "Earth to girl who just fell."

I turned around then, and gaped at the guy before me. Jared. I gaped at him and all his goodness for a moment, before blinking and looking at my feet. I was positive my whole body was red. I hated how easily I blushed.

"You alright?" He asked again, and from the tone in his voice I could tell his eyes were twinkling.

I looked up to make sure. Yep, yep, they were. I sighed, dreamily, before Mia elbowed me hard. I yelped a little and pouted at her.

"Yes, I am fine." I whispered to him.

He didn't reply. I glanced at him realising he'd been staring at me for some time. His eyes were wide and his mouth was slightly open in surprise. He gulped and I blinked again. What was up with him.

Mia decided the attention hadn't been on her long enough and held her hand out for Jared. "Hey, I'm Mia."

"Hi." He said, still staring at me. He didn't even look at her, but trained his eyes on me. Mia gaped at him and I grimaced at the anger in her eyes.

"What's your name?" He asked me, eyes fixated.

It kind of made my heart sink that he didn't know who I was since I'd been in almost all of his classes these last few years, which was why I ever noticed him in the first place.

I noticed his kindness, his genoristy, his basic sense of deceny. Sigh. He was just perfect-

"Er, what's your name?" He repeated.

I breathed out, nervously. "K-Kim."

"Kim." He whispered. "Perfect."

My eyes widened. He seemed to be so fascinated with my name. How odd.

"So, do you want to eat at-"

"Dude, hurry up, will you?" Paul growled. "I'm getting hungry."

"Wait a second." Jared hissed, looking annoyed. He turned back and smiled sweetly. "Er... I was wondering whether you wanted to sit our table?"

Did I want to sit with him and his popular friends? Not really. Did I want to be judged by his popular friends? Nope. Did I want to be accepted by his popular friends? Certainly not, because that would mean being seen as an evil, superficial bitch. And, I didn't want to be either of that.

"No, thank you-" I mumbled.

"We'd love to!" Mia interrupted, holding my arm, tightly.

"Erm, actually I-"

"-would love to, wouldn't you, Kim?" Her fingernails were digging in my skin.

I winced and nodded. Jared beamed and led us on our way.

The first thing I'd noticed was that the only people at Jared's table was Jared and Paul and ... no one else. Then looking around, it became clear to me that he'd either grown tired of/had a fight with his old friends. My respect for him grew.

Now lunch brings us to where we left off in the previous chapter. Mia had been flirting with him in every way she knew. The more he showed his disinterest the more she clung on to him. All I could think was, what kind of guy rejected Mia Call's advances? Weird.

What was weirder was that he was asking me questions and was actually interested in what I had to say.

"So, what kind of movies do you like?" He asked, his eyes trained on me.

I choked on my sandwich in my haste to answer him. I tried to swallow the piece lodged in my throat but failed. My eyes watered and my throat dried. In the end I spoke, my voice sounding like I was drowning. I was making choking sounds.

"I.. Ahem! Argh, I like hor-ergh-or, horromvs." I finally said.

Jared blinked, confused. Mia snorted.

"I-I actually said, erm... horror movies." I repeated, but then coughed like mad.

"Oh, right." Jared grinned. "So do I. Maybe we can catch one together, huh?" He winked at me.

I choked on the water I'd been drinking and the water went down the wrong tube. Unfortunately I spat the water out and it landed on a shocked Jared.

Paul, who had been focusing on his food until then, looked at me with disgust. "You're a fucking retard."

"You know, that's not a good word-" I mumbled timidly, but was put off by his frightening nature. "Oh, um, forget ... I said anything."

"Paul, shut up." Jared snarled, wiping his face with a tissue that Mia had offered to him. He gave me a reassuring smile which I failed to respond to in my misery.

I then sneezed, snot flying out my nose and covering Mia in slime. She screamed and jumped up, while I wondered whether my day would get any worse.

So, after school I went to my usual volunteer work at the care home. Mia and I had volunteered as a last ditch attempt to gain some credits, and unfortunately a lot of it had to do with checking out Jared, who also worked there.

What was amazing about Jared was that he actually enjoyed talking to the residents, whereas a social reject like myself hated it. Mia just found it boring, but I hated it because it entailed me having to actually talk to these people.

We were supposed to sort of work with them in a therapeutic kind of way, offering them emotional support and so on. I found it ironic that the volunteers were angsty teens withe no life experience and capability to actually be emphatic towards other people.

I'd failed in my objective to help these people feel better about their lives. I'd been moved on from subject to subject, failing in all my aims.

My first 'assignment' had been a depressed old man whose wife had ran off with his best friend. I'd only succeeded in making him cry rather than soothed his worries. I shouldn't have just stared at him in horror.

Another assignment, which had failed horribly, resulting in me having a black eye. The woman had hated me right from the onset, but she loved Mia who had come before me. I don't know why really.

I was now on my seventh assignment in three months, hopefully I would help this man. He was a cheerful man in his early seventies with severe arthritis, and liver problems. However, I had to share him with someone this time or so Angela Thomas, one of the senior nurses, was telling me. Apparantly, although I was getting better, I still wasn't good enough.

"You need a little support if you want to pass this voluntary work." Angela insisted, after I'd refused to get help from a second 'therapist'.

"No, I really don't want help." I said, shaking my head.

"Kim, please hear me out." Angela replied. "He's a nice guy, he's good with everyone, staff and residents, he'll help you ... get social skills."

"Hey, Angela."

I froze at the sound of Jared's voice.

"Oh, hell, Jared dear." Angela turned to me with a huge smile. "This is your co-worker, Kim. Jared Thail."

I looked up at a beaming Jared. "How are you doing, Kim?"

Don't ask me why I did, I really don't know. I just felt like I'd been suffocated. I also really didn't want to work with him. I'd make a complete fool of myself every time I was near him.

Ok, I guess running away down the corridor at full speed also made a fool of me. Sigh. When will I stop being such a dork?


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed. OMG no way911, love-evolves-from-friendship and Am Team Wolf.**

**I'm sorry about the wait and for this short chappie. Well it's a thousand plus words, so it's not that short. But I hope you enjoy anyway.**

* * *

I was all on my owney the next time I'd had an encounter with him. In fact, I was being a good little girl, studying the library at lunch because Mia decided to ditch me for her other friends. Like the typical loner, I seemed unable to hack being on my own without my one and only friend.

So, I decided to skip lunch altogether and study. For what, you may ask? Well, I didn't really know. I was just reading a biology book and hoping I internalised some of what I'd read.

But, I was just daydreaming. About Jared. Like I usually do. I was thinking about his beautiful eyes, his bright smile, his ears, his nose. His everything. Oh, and his beautiful smooth skin. What I would give to just run my hands...

The door opened at the moment, while I tried not to drool at the mere thought of Jared. Speak of the devil. Or angel. Giggle.

But then the realisation hit me.

Shit. I couldn't talk to him.

Jared was talking urgently to Paul about something. I could tell he was annoyed by the familiar furrow in his eyebrows. He hadn't yet noticed me but Paul had. Paul had a sinister smile on his face as if he could feel the tension and anxiety that I felt. Oh, god, he was going to get Jared attention and I really didn't want to see him or talk to him after I'd run off like an idiot.

Miserably, I watched as Paul said something and Jared had started to turn...

I ducked under the table, without thinking. I sat there for a moment wondering what spark of stupidity caused me to do so. He would see me, there was no doubt about that.

But, alas, I did suffer from acute denial. I looked hopefully at the shelves and aimed to get there before he could see me. So, idiot that I was, I decided to crawl from under my table to the next in super fast time. I winced and hissed at the friction between my poor hands and knees. I didn't check to see if Jared noticed me, but I wasn't taking any chances.

I crawled again to the next table and the next, until I almost reached the book shelves. Just one more inch-

"Kim?"

Oh, shoot. I've been rumbled.

I froze in my half-crawl and did not move or talk or even breathe. If I could just stay still maybe they won't notice. Oh, you idiot, Kim.

So, I stayed still, knowing that my butt crack was showing (because you can't crawl and put your jeans up at the same time, guys) and knowing that my hair was straggly and all over my face and knowing that sweat was literally dripping from my forehead because of the tension. But did I move? No, I did not.

I knew that Jared and Paul were awaiting a response. In fact, I could see their pairs of shoes begin to stop right in front of me. I eyed their feet closely, specifically Jared's, wondering from their shoes if I could decide whether they were rich or not. Paul's shoes were pretty new, and therefore clean, while Jared's were slightly tattered. But still Jared's shoes.

They even smelled clean. I sniffed at them a little in amazement. How could he have messy, ripped shoes, but still smelling good? Especially considering he was a guy. I had to find out his solution. I suffered from smelly socks. Terrible condition.

"Kim?"

I couldn't pretend that I could neither hear nor see them now, because they were stood right in front of me. I could, however, pretend that I dropped something.

I wanted to cry at my situation. I couldn't act to save my life.

I closed my eyes tightly and patted the floor in desperation, hoping that I could find some excuse. The silence was deafening, I could feel eyes fixed on me and my face burned in shame.

My hands finally stopped at something.

Eureka!

"Oh!" I cried, with pretend elation. "There it is!"

"Er... Kim?"

I looked up at him and tried not to stare at his perfect face and kept the smile on my face. "I dropped my..." I glanced at what my hand was touching and trailed away. "Oh." Jared's shoes. "Oh! I... I guess I was wrong."

I didn't dare look at him and slowly stood up in shame. I trained my eyes on my shoes and hoped they would just walk away without commenting on my idiocy.

"Well, that was fucking hilarious!" Paul barked out a laughter and began to walk away. "Bro, she fucked up. Don't have too much fun." He left the library and left me in even more embarrassment than before. Sure, I knew I was weird. But for someone to bring it up in front of everyone closely listening in the library and my Jared-

My? Wow. I was so pathetic.

"Forget about him."

I sighed at the deep, rich voice and didn't reply only replayed it in my head. Forget about him. Forget about him. Forget about -

"So, I didn't get a chance to talk with you yesterday."

That was because I ran off.

"I didn't know you volunteered."

I lifted the corner of my lips, as I had nothing to say to that. My mind was void of any intelligible replies.

"I was wondering if I could have coffee with you after school."

WHAT?

Jared blinked nervously. "Erm, you don't have to. It was just a suggestion."

Oh dear. I should probably clamp my mouth shut.

I reached up and held my lips closed between my thumb and forefinger, to stop myself from making anymore of a fool of myself. Jared's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, though he continued to smile, nervously.

"So, you don't want to go?" The small smile fell and he looked wounded. I felt a little bit of pity for him. He was so adorable. With his little adorable smile and eyes and puppy dog face. Which he was doing now. I couldn't resist.

"I..." I opened my mouth and closed it again. I licked my lips and tried again. "I ... Ok?"

He beamed and whipped his phone out in super speed, nearly hitting my face in the process. Though I loved the guy, I stepped back, cautiously. I didn't want to lose my eyes.

"What's your number?"

I blinked at him. He blinked back. We both blinked. Then there was a short silence.

"What's your number, Kim?" He repeated, slowly.

I held my hand out and he placed his phone into my hand, slowly and carefully. I eyed him in confusion. Why was he acting so cautiously? He studied my face closely and accidentally brushed my hand. A tingle went through my hand and I gasped, quietly. Jared's eyes darkened slightly. Then his hand, which had brushed mine, lingered there for a moment and then he closed his hand over mine, all the while keeping his gaze steady on my face.

"Your number?" He repeated again.

"Well, I would give you my number, but you're holding onto my hand." I replied, clearly. I was stunned. I shocked myself with that intelligible sentence. That was the first time I'd spoken in a full, decent sentence to Jared Thail. Even he looked surprised, but then he smiled, sheepishly.

"Sorry."

I typed my number in and handed it to him. He looked at his phone with a wide smile on his face.

"Thanks."

The bell rang. As other students made their way out of the library, I turned to grab my things so that I could hurry to class before I lost my seat. This was the only class I ever had with Jared. PE.

Yes, I know. I chance to see him take his shirt off and to witness his perfect abs first hand and to see his sweat glistening in the sun. Perfect.

I was so looking forward to it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you, my lovely readers, followers and especially my reviewers, OMG no way911, ItsALondonThing and Am Team Wolf. Thank you very much :)**

* * *

The fly's buzzing noise started to grate on my nerves. But I attempted to listen to Jared as carefully as I could.

Buzz. Buzzz. Buzzzz.

It was now so close to my ear. It moved away onto the wall. I eyed it as it went about it's daily chores of annoying human beings. I nodded and pretended to listen to Jared.

It came near me again. Buzzzz. Buzz.

Couldn't Jared hear it? My eyes narrowed at the pest while I swatted it away. Get away, you annoying little shit. You're ruining my 'date' with Jared. Yes, I know it wasn't a date, let me dream.

"...do you agree with that?" Jared said, smiling.

My eyes flew to Jared and I blinked. I had no idea what he'd been talking about for the past five minutes. I decided to fake it.

"Hmm. Yes." I said, enthusiastically. "I agree 100%."

"You agree with Paul that the baby was not flushed down the toilet on purpose?" He frowned at me.

We were talking about infantcide? Why? Of all the topics to have over coffee, death? I had discovered Jared's only flaw. His lack of tact.

"Huh?"

"You don't think it was on purpose?"

I blinked at him. "I do think it was on purpose."

Jared sighed. "You weren't listening, were you?"

"Not to a single word." I admitted. "But in my defence. That goddamn fly-" I reached out and slammed my fist onto the wall to get the fly. Unfortunately the fly dodged my fist. A further shame is the fact that my fist went through the wall.

I yelped as my fist hit the brick wall. Tears filled my eyes.

Not another embarrassing moment.

* * *

"What were you thinking?"

I looked at my father with a little pout. His face was stern, but I knew I could get through to him with my daddy's girl act. Father's softened at their daughters' puppy dog faces.

My father was closely linked with the La Push council, which meant I was invited to bonfires, but thankfully none of those boring meetings. He always returned from council meetings with a strained expression, unbuttoned shirt and swollen eyes. I could understand that dullness of it made him cry. I couldn't blame him.

I had a close relationship with my dad. He was both loving and stern. He taught me everything I needed to know because my mother had left us, so it left me and him. So, I grew up without a mother figure, which meant I was a little more of a tomboy than most girls but I liked it.

"Daddy, the fly was irritating me."

"Do you understand how much I have to pay for repairs?" He ignored my pout.

"I'm sorry, daddy."

He sighed and gave up. See. I was good.

"Shall I make you dinner, daddy?" I continued to pretend to be the perfect daughter.

"Yes, please." He grumbled walking forward to switch the TV on. I left him there and started on his meal.

While waiting for the food to heat, I dialled Mia's phone. She picked up on the last ring. She sounded pretty upset and grumpy.

"What?" she barked into the phone.

"Hey, it's me."

"Oh."

She sounded even more upset at that, raising my eyebrows, I continued on like normal.

"So, do you want to come over to mine to get ready for Jared's party?" I asked, hoping that would cheer her up, "it's tommorow night, isn't it?"

I hated parties, it only confirmed how much of a social reject I was. But, I was dragged to them time and time again, while Mia made out with each and every guy she could get her hands on. Sadly, even when he was already taken and she knew it.

I don't know why I was portraying my best friend in a bad light, but hey.

Through gritted teeth, she managed, "did he invite you? When you were out, together."

"No, actually," I chuckled a little, remembering that I had to be taken out in an ambulance, "oddly that never came up."

"Good," She spat and I blinked.

"Is there a problem?" I asked, cautiously, "because it sounds to me as if there is. It sounds like you're on your period, except well, you never really get angry, you just cry. It also sounds like you're stuck in the toilet like that time when-"

"Ok, ok, let's not bring that up again," she said, quickly, sounding as if this was the last thing she wanted to talk about, "I'm just bored, ok and I'm tired so, goodbye."

My mouth gaped open as I listened to the dial tone. She sounded upset with me. What had I done that was so bad?

* * *

"Wow."

I had been gawping at Jared's house since it was so large, forgetting to knock, but I didn't need to since it was flung open.

Jared opened it, looking like he'd expected me. His already large smile, widened and I was momentarily struck by how dazzling his smile was before I shook my head and assumed a fairly casual appearance.

"Hi," he breathed, taking in my tube top and mini skirt, and his smile faltered a little, looking half attracted and half-frustrated.

I pulled my skirt down a little regretting putting it on and followed him to the crowded and uncomfortably warm house. I pushed my tightly packed bodies and kept my eyes on the back of Jared's gorgeous head, desperate not to lose him.

Sadly, since I was so short, it was inevitable.

"Shit." I muttered, when I lost sight of him.

I sighed and plopped myself on the nearest arm chair next to a couple kissing so throughly, they looked like a single person. I watched in disgust, before turning away to survey the rest of the room.

Boys and girls were grinding on each other and dry humping and other things they probably wouldn't have done if they could see themselves from a different point of view.

I hated to be a party pooper, but I was not going to enjoy myself here, not when all I had to do was sit around and hope for the end to finally come. I had dressed myself in a revealing outfit for nothing, my boobs could literally get someone's eye out and my legs were uncomfortably crossed, as I hoped and wished no one but Jared would have their eyes on me.

I was one guy kind of girl.

"Holy shit," a voice said from somewhere beside me, I turned to the couple and noticed that it was indeed Paul and another girl who I didn't recognise, who had been making out so fervently.

Paul's eyes raked my body, pausing twice at my legs and then my breasts. His hand reached out for a moment and I glared instantly, warning him with my eyes that one touch equalled death.

"You're boobs are..." His voice trailed off, in amazement, "shit."

I huffed and looked away again. Typically, the only way I could earn his respect was by parading around in slutty clothing. Fantastic.

"You're hot," he continued, and from the corner of my eye I noticed that the girl he had been kissing stiffened and was beginning to get off him, but he didn't seem to protest, he slid across the sofa, and put his arm around me, his lips at my ear, "do you want to get out of here?"

"Don't you know who I am?" I asked, trying to move out of his arms.

"No, but I'm willing to find out," he breathed into my neck, his hand brushed my arm, lightly, causing goosebumps.

I shivered, but stood up, and it was then that he recognised me. His face went pale and then dark, he seemed to be looking past me, apologetic expression on his face, until he huffed in frustration and got to storm past me.

"Kim?"

I looked back and caught Jared's stricken face and for some reason felt incredibly guilty.

* * *

**Hope you like :) please let me know what you think :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey, guys, sorry about the delay. I hope you like this chapter :) enjoy!**

* * *

Oh, my, god, he's still staring at me with a heartbroken expression. Oh, my, god, he hates me. He hates me. I'm such a horrible person. I must have really hurt him, I must have crushed his heart. I hate myself.

Wait... What did I even do?

"Um, hi again," I said, nervously, biting my lip slightly, "where did you get to?"

He dropped his eyes to closed fists, which I now noticed were tightly clenched. His face was slowly heating up, his body shaking. The veins in his neck stood out, reminding me of thick, fat worms. I snorted at the thought of there being worms under his skin.

Jared's eyes flashed for a second, before he sighed, "I was getting you something to eat. That was before I turned around and lost you. Only to find you all over my best friend."

My jaw dropped open and for once I held only negative thoughts in my head for him. The nerve of him...

I chuckled, darkly. A strange reaction on my part, but in my anger, I didn't hold back.

"Interesting that you should see from that point of view. Hmm. No, for me, it was more being felt up by your best friend. I would actually class it as sexual harassment since I didn't actually want his dirty hands touching me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll look for the door and make my way out. Hopefully I can get out before I get accused of being a brazen whore again. Goodbye."

Oh, god. Did I really just say all of that? Tell me I didn't just speak to my crush in the most condescending manner. Tell me I didn't just act like a complete bitch. Oh! I'm a complete utter idiot.

Judging by Jared's face, he didn't expect that word vomit either. His mouth was wide open, his eyes like saucers. He looked stunned. And hurt. And horrified.

Oh, god. Did I really just say all of that? Tell me I didn't just speak to my crush in the most condescending manner. Tell me I didn't just act like a complete bitch. Oh! I'm a complete utter idiot.

Judging by Jared's face, he didn't expect that word vomit either. His jaw was wide open, his eyes like saucers. He looked stunned. And hurt. And horrified.

"I-I..." I started to say, but he cut in, looking quite apologetic.

"I'm sorry," he shook his head, smiling wryly, "I'm just ... I overreacted, you see, Paul's one of my best friends. I'm sorry, it was unreasonable of me to accuse you of anything, especially since we're not even dating."

My heart dropped at the realisation. He had just given me a wake up call. Of course he wouldn't ever be interested in me, he considered me a companion, a class mate. He was just a friendly guy.

Also, of course he would overreact at seeing me flirting with Paul, perhaps he thought I'd be like those girls who used hot guys for sex. He was just protective of his friends.

There is no way he'd ever see more than a friend. A guy who looked like him would never look twice at me. Even with my slutty clothes.

I looked down at my figure, my tight, short clothing, in distaste. I had dressed up for nothing. Maybe he liked other girls to look like this. But, with me, with my plain looks, my boring personality, I would never tempt him.

"Right," I said, forcing a smile on my face, "we're not dating. We're ...friends."

The half-smile dropped from Jared's face and he slowly nodded. I unclenched my teeth, the music still pounding raising my spirits just a little. Jared, however, remained very sombre.

I glanced at the drink in his hand and pointed to it, pointed look on my face. I had reduced myself to pointing rather than speaking now. Great. Well done, Kimberly. Well done.

He handed it to me, an amused smile on his lips. Those lips. So soft looking. Sigh.

Oops. Dazed smile, attraction levels decreasing. Beginning to look stoned. Stop smiling. Remain stoic. Wait, no. Start smiling seductively. Twirl hair. No, no, no. Looks like I have head lice. Just thank him. Thank him like a functioning human being even if you are not.

"Thanks," I said, unfortunately my attempt to be casual meant that my voice deepened and I slouched like a guy. I blushed a deep red at my actions and sweeped my hand across the room, gesturing towards the people dancing, "so, these teenagers. They're a lively bunch, huh?"

Why did I say that like I'm not a teenager?

Jared nodded with a puzzled look on his face, "yes, they are."

Oh, god. Awkward silence.

"They also have a fascination with oracle cavities, huh?" I continued, hurriedly, hoping to salvage some of my dignity, and fill in the silence, "I don't ever remember studying the mouth to that degree in biology. You know what I'm saying? Hehe... Ahem. Hehe."

Jared laughed along, slowly at first and then full out laughter. He was wheezing by the time he'd finished. I just simply stood by like a tomato. Like an abashed, embarrassed tomato. Though, in more technical terms, I was an abashed, embarrassed, in-love tomato.

"You really are something, Kim," he said, after his laughing fit, where I stood by like a spare part.

Thanks. I'm something. What a compliment.

Though out loud, I said, "hehe, thank you."

"I'm going to enjoy spending time with you," he said, smiling, before his ears reddened, "I mean, that it's if you want to spend time with me. I don't want you to feel like I've imposed myself on you."

Blink, blink. Smile nervously.

"Hehe."

He was looking at me. I blinked again. Why was he looking at me? He looked expectant, as if he was waiting for something. His face was slowly draining, the smile dropping.

"What?" I said, rather rudely. Oops.

"Nothing," he shuffled his feet a little, before inclining his head towards the kitchen, "you want to go to the kitchen? Get a drink? Go outside or dance?"

So many choices, so little time. I couldn't do them all, though if it meant I could hang out with Jared longer, I didn't mind. I'd spend hours with him anyday... Just not today because my dad told me to get home before 11.

Sigh. "Um... can we play Twister?"

Oh, shit. What a random thought. Why did I even say that? Why couldn't I control my mouth? He was going to think I was a complete moron.

"Oh, um sure," he said, chuckling, "It's upstairs, if you want to come."

His bedroom? The inner stalker in my was rejoicing at the idea of seeing Jared Thail's bedroom. However, the more logical, rational side (not that there was much of that) of me was worrying about the rumours spreading about Jared and I having sex.

"On second thoughts," I paused, thinking desperately for something more suitable, "let's just have sex. Oh! Um... I meant... Oh shit..."

Since I was thinking about dispelling the rumours about Jared and I having sex, that was unfortunately the thing that slipped out of my mouth. I did unfortunately have a problem with controlling my mouth.

Jared was laughing. In the same manner as before, expect now he looked quite flattered.

"You know," he said, slowly, a teasing smile that stopped me in my tracks on his face, "that doesn't sound like such a bad idea. Especially what with you looking so delicious tonight. I think I forgot to tell you that you look quite spectacular."

And he took hold of my arm and led me upstairs, while I blushed all over.

Complete utter moron.

* * *

"This is my book collection," Jared pointed to the book shelves taking up one side of the room and my eyes widened.

The Jared Thail was a bookworm like me? Oh! Wow. I'm in love.

My eyes took in the overly tidy room, almost completely perfect. The bed was made, the covers tightly pressed to the bed, the sheets folded neatly on top. A laptop lay alone on his desk. A few books piled up next to it, pens neatly lined up next to the books. I had an urge to check in his cupboard and drawers just to see whether they'd been piled up neatly, too. Perhaps he even had underwear with the days written on them, too.

From what I could see, apart from his book collection, everything was immaculate.

I scanned the pictures above his desk, seeing a few familiar faces from school. Paul, who I assumed was his closest, Aaron and Kay, obnoxious and attractive twins from my music class and Oliver. Oliver was a decent guy. The only decent one from among Jared and Paul's group that I knew of. He studied hard and mainly kept to himself. But, he was a nice guy from what I knew of him.

Suddenly, Jared and Paul no longer hung out with that group. Which was odd to me. They had been the best of friends and from what the pictures suggest, they had been friends from many years, since they were kids. Why would Jared throw that away? Unless something terrible had gone on between the friends.

Jared was next to me, so close I could feel the heat between the little space. I could tell he was close from the pleasant smell, something like nature and soap coming from him. I could also tell from the way my heart skipped a beat and thudded inside my chest. I tried hard to slow down my breathing and glanced briefly at his handsome form staring at the pictures with an expression of regret on his face.

"Why aren't you friends with them anymore?" I asked without thinking.

"I invited them to this party, didn't I?" He said, half-serious, half-joking, but I could tell the question had him stumped.

I let it go. I mean, what was it to do with me? I shouldn't have asked in the first place. Though I was suspicious. I had already been surprised that Jared had even hosted a party. I mean he'd disappeared from the face of the earth for like two weeks. It's weird that he should have a party considering breaking up with his old friends and distancing himself from most of the school. Why suddenly have a party?

I gave him the benefit of the doubt. No doubt people constantly asked questions and were too nosy. I didn't have to suspect him and think badly of him just because he'd distanced himself from his old friends. Perhaps he'd wanted a break. Perhaps he didn't like the effect they had on him. There was more to the story. Much more than I knew.

"So," I said, with what I hoped was a dazzling smile, "twister?"

Jared momentarily blinked at me, before shakily pointing to the floor, where the game was set out.

How we were going to play with two people was going to be a mystery. But it was my mystery to discover since I had been the one to randomly suggest the game in the first place.

* * *

"So, then you played 'Twister'?" Mia said in a disgusted tone.

I blinked at her, "um, yes..."

"And then he walked you home?"

"I believe that is what I had already said-"

"And then he offered you a lift to school every morning?"

"Yes."

Mia sat up straight, her face hard. I bit my lip in confusion, wondering what her problem was. Why did she have to be angry? Why couldn't she be happy for me like other friends were when they succeeded with their crushes? Did she like him?

I sighed, and shook my head. Typical that she should like another one of my crushes. Why was she always attracted to the same guys as me? Why couldn't she just date another guy? She could get guys much easier than me. I didn't have a single flirtatious bone in my body. I knew I wasn't going to go anywhere with Jared.

"Do you like Jared?" I asked, worriedly.

"No," she scoffed and looked directly at me, her face sincere, "I'm just worried about you is all. I don't think Jared is the right guy for you. Don't you know about the rumours?"

"But, he's nice-"

"He's not," she cut through and then sighed, deeply, looking troubled, "but, if you like him, then I guess I accept. I'll even help if you want."

I smiled, pleased with her unexpected kindness. I knew that Mia had a depth, it just had to be explored. She could be really sweet when she wanted to and this was one of those times.

"Yeah, I'll help you," she smiled, sweetly and I smiled back.

"Thanks, Mia."

"First things first," she tapped her long nails on the table, "you make him jealous."

"What?" I blinked.

Make him jealous? How would that work?

"We need someone unattached, someone nice who understands," Mia muttered, "Someone who Jared trusts, someone who is hot. Someone who can teach you the ropes, how to snag Jared."

"Ah," something dawned on her face, an idea, "this is exactly what I was looking for. Perfect."

What was she looking at? Why was she staring behind me?

"What?"

"Hi, Ollie," she drawled, seductive smile touching her lips, slightly. But she was constantly seductive that it took barely any effort to turn the charm on. She could get a guy's attention with a single flick of her hair.

I looked back towards the person she was addressing and paled.

Oliver Perkins. Jared's ex-best friend. Holy shit, this is not going to be pretty.


End file.
